Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
