OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
where are my eyebrows?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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