I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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