I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
