I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize