I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize