Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
