my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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