Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
