why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize