why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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