You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
