she smelled like a LAN party
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
a search helicopter?!
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
