none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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