There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
