I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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