I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
