real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
