I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
When are your genitals available?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
