I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
birth control should be required to get into college
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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