I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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