WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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