just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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