Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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