woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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