No period for spring break; use this wisely.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
