How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
