We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I touched a dick in church today
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize