I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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