what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
