I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
