I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Is her dick bigger than yours?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
