Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
