Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I just made out with a guy for $7.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
