I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
