there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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