wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize