You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
