There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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