you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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