he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
