Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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