I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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