it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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