i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
