so explain again why im purple
no
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
