I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Semen is not good for contacts.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
