No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Randomize