11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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