I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
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