put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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