hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Randomize
