Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
