also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
