Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
