forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
