It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
