Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
