I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
