there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
