Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Randomize
