went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
