just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
