I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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