I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
We got so high we made milksteak
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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